God doesn’t blame the Atheist for being Atheist. He blames me.

A US Today poll recently showed agnosticism and atheism on the rise. Over the last decade, the percentage of non-believers has doubled in size to a staggering number of fifteen percent. The evangelical war against atheists amazes me. In actuality, two percent of our nation’s population accounts for those committed to the belief of atheism. I do not quite know what threat they oppose to God or American culture or the Christian believing community. The best way to get power is to locate (create) an enemy, hype up the grave threat they present, feed off the fear of the masses. And then the masses will grant authority, money, attention, and power.

But even if atheists and agnostics were fifty percent of the country’s population, what difference would it make? In the “inerrant” bible, some of God’s greatest believers achieved their greatness in godless nations. They turned their nations upside down. What exactly is the threat?

In my discussions with atheist friends, I find a lot of them do not hinge their position on science to prove their convictions. What they articulate is church history. What they present are the millions of people who have died in the name of Jesus Christ to fulfill the purposes of God. They know their own experiences of oppression or hypocrisy that’s made them take a stand against a divine being. They do not reject God scientifically. They reject God emotionally. They reject God rationally. They reject God morally. And why wouldn’t they? What parent would let their own children die of sickness or starvation if they possessed all power to stop it? What king, who loved his subjects, would allow war and strife and division to rule his kingdom if he had the authority to bring peace? What great prophet or hero would allow his followers to kill and oppress other people while citing they are only fulfilling the will of the prophet? I don’t blame them for disbelieving in a God with these qualities. I wouldn’t believe in a God like that either.

Thankfully, that is not the God I seek and love and serve. But I have not shown atheists that God. I have shown them a God who hates them. I have show them a God who creates heartbreak and suffering in their life and then threatens to send them to a lake of fire to burn and drown forever. I have shown them a God who thinks so less of them, that he will not give them an introduction, or sign, or an answered prayer; then at the same time, that God expects their suspended belief and lifelong sacrifice and loyalty. If that is the only God I have ever heard of, I would imagine only two choices: to hate him or not believe in him.

But that is not the God I have met. I have met the God who receives me, no matter how “unclean” I am. I have met the God who died for me for an infinite amount of reasons. But one of the reasons is to symbolically show me how much He is willing to fight for me. How much he is will to sacrifice for me. What he will do to redeem me. I have met the God who gets on His knees and washes my feet. I have met the God who believes in me so much that He gives me the responsibility to fight for His greatest possession, His creation. I have met the God who stoops down to make me great. Not because of my own selfish ambition, but because that greatness is who He envisioned me to become before the beginning of the world. I have met the God who desires to share His blood, His power, His throne, and His pleasure with me forever. I love that God. I love the idea of that God, much less the reality. And it is my responsibility to share him with others. It is not the atheists or agnostics or Muslims or human secularists that deserve condemnation. It is me. Ironically, the God I know even forgives me for that.

struggling with the pleasure of God

I struggle with God taking me pleasure in me. The mechanics of it confound me. The world perpetually promotes to me my lack of value. Sometimes, hatred means another human being feels you are worthy enough for some type of emotion. To be ignored and unworthy of attention is generally worse.

Most of my experiences with humanity are lacking. I have friends and family who like and love me but most people do not walk into my presence and experience overwhelming joy. They do not crave my existence and my company. They might do me favors and provide assistance but they would not sacrifice anything that puts their lives or lifestyles in jeopardy. I don’t know many people who would die for me. I don’t know any, in fact. I probably wouldn’t die for me, either.

That’s why God’s love for me seems so alien. He takes pleasure in me. When He thinks of me, His heart runs wild. His mind overflows with thoughts of me. He craves my attention. He craves my presence, my words, my eyes, my heart. It seems cocky for me to write this, but what other conclusion can I make? He designed me to look like him and breathed life into me with a kiss. He created the universe and gave it to me as my kingdom. When I betrayed him and lost it all to his worst enemy by believing his enemy’s lies over my his truth, instead of destroying me and starting over, God made a plan where he would restore me. Not only would he redeem me, but he would do so in way where he would erase every time I betrayed him by choosing something else instead of him. And at the end of time, he plans to take me into his family, pour his blood (glory) into me, give me a throne in his courts, and allow me to exist inside of him forever (Revelations 2-3).

I think this is one of the great keys to understanding Christianity. It’s why I don’t particular understand denominations and doctrines and interpreting “Greek” to understand what God is trying to say. A God who takes pleasure in His children does not allow you to miss his grace or his love or his blessing because you attend the wrong church or believe the wrong dogma. Anyone can believe in God. Anyone can believe God can do anything. But can anyone believe God will do anything for them? I can’t say I am there, yet. I want to be there, though. I want to be there with every ounce of my being. I want to believe that I am the “apple of God’s eye”. I want to believe that he loves me as much as he loves Jesus Christ. I want to believe that he waits to sing praises over me. I want to believe that if my sin could not stop him from coming after me; if hell could not stop him from coming after me; if death could not stop him from coming after me: then there is truly nothing that could ever separate me from His love.

If I believe he takes insurmountable pleasure in me as his child, then I can face Goliath with stones, or an army with a staff, or pick up my cross and be crucified upside down on it. Nothing would be impossible to me. This is one of the many reasons why I seek him and why he is worthy to sacrifice any other pursuit for anything else.

Christianity: Religion (Rules) verses Relationship

I grew up in the affluent deep-south, where conservatism served as a litmus test for character.  My initial reaction was to conform to the influences surrounding me but I found that the logical conclusion of what I learned contradicted the biographies of the bible.  So I began looking for deeper revelation in scripture and in prayer.  As I began to develop them and share, I instantly experienced persecution and at times became a pariah to the conservative Christian communities that I belonged.  When I befriended likeminded believers, I found they experienced the same repercussions as I did and withheld what they believed to fit in the community.

What astonished me is that the “theological” disagreements, that brought negativity towards me, came down to words.  Rather one read the King James Bible or the Living Bible could start brawls within the pews.  But even in the same version of the bible, one side went to war with the other over how they “interpreted the scripture” and how they put it “into context”.  Shooting off another scripture to back that position would produce a “serve and volley” tennis match that no one would seem to win.  The reason this still shocks me is how do you actually know you are right?  Context and interpretation are still subjective. Therefore, how could anyone know how wrong I am, based on the interpretation of words, considering these words created tens of thousands of Christian denominations?  The proof would be in the pudding, wouldn’t it?  Is that person more successful than I am?  Do they have a happier marriage?  Are they more respected?  Is their life successful and more prosperous?  And even if all of that is the case, does their excellent life really mean it’s because they held the right perspective of God and the bible?  Hugh Hefner and Muammar Gaddafi are billionaires.  Could you give Joseph the same litmus test when he was in prison?  Would Daniel be able to pass the standard of correct theological doctrine in the lion’s den?  No one would allow Paul to come close to a pulpit.  Any single type of prosperity claim of what one denomination advertises (even though you would have to take their word for it), could be contradicted by some biblical hero in their time of testing, sin, struggle, and conflict.  Even Jesus asked for a way out in the Garden of Gethsemane.

I do not ever want to come off like I know everything.  I love questions.  I think questions are popular.  Answers are not.  But I do possess an answer.  All of it does not matter.  It doesn’t matter what type of dispensation of apocalypse you believe.  It does not matter if you think the bible obliges believers to uphold the law in the midst of grace.  It does not matter if you believe God mandates a Christian dogmatic government.  It does not matter if you believe church should be on Sundays or Saturdays.  What matters is one thing: the relationship.

I know it’s an overused cliché to say “Christianity is not a religion, it’s a relationship”.  I abhor clichés.  But there is a sense where some believe that adhering to such a proclamation exculpates believers from having to obey the rules of religion.  And if they don’t obey the rules, chaos may assume because how can society and church leaders regulate the masses without them.  Some call this Antinomianism.  Some call it the Emerging Church movement.  Some call it cheap grace.  Some call it liberalism.  Some call it heresy.

So, do I believe the sacrifice of Jesus Christ lets us out of obeying the rules?

Yes, I do.

And here is my argument.  Imagine a man marries his childhood sweetheart.  Everyone believes inevitably they would marry, so they commit to each other in matrimony.  They have peaceful relationship of love and respect but it’s more of a partnership.  Suddenly they began to experience serious problems and they do not know how much longer they can stay together.  During this difficult time with his wife, another woman comes along who looks like she could be the centerfold for Playboy.  They begin a friendly work relationship.  She begins to flirt with our imaginary husband and offers him one night, no strings attached, to do anything he wanted with her.  Ordinarily, the husband would not think twice about saying no he wouldn’t want to ruin his marriage.  But he feels his wife is not the same woman anymore.  He cannot find motivation to escape this temptation out of devotion for his wife.  Therefore, he must find a way to honor his marriage vows through character.  He made a promise.  His rule is not to break it.  Therefore, because of his rule, he stays pure to his wife.

I understand this perspective.  We need rules because they teach us how to live in harmony with each other.  They provide a boundary to keep us living the proper lifestyle that “honors God.”

But imagine another man gets married. However, this woman is the woman of his dreams.  Everything about her is beyond perfect.  Everything.  She feels the same way about him.   They begin this incredible love affair where every second of every day feels like the first time they kissed.  Neither of them has ever experienced anything like this before.  They believe nothing else out there even compares.  They marry and begin to live the lives of their fantasies.  They live for years, enamored by each other and pinching themselves for the love they found.  Suddenly, problems begin infiltrating their marriage.  The euphoria begins to dissipate.  Disappointment replaces the surpassed expectations they experienced in each other.  As the man contemplates the state of his marriage and how fast he has fallen from bliss, another woman comes along who looks like she could be the centerfold for Playboy.  They begin a friendly work relationship. She begins to flirt with our imaginary husband and offers him one night, no strings attached, to do anything he wanted to do.  He refuses her immediately.  He doesn’t even think about it.  Why?

Because of relationship.  He is in love with his wife.  He loves her without limits.  He loves her without boundaries or inhibition.  He loves the way she walks in the room.  He loves the way she smells after working out.  He loves her morning breath.  He loves listening to her.  He loves the way her skin feels and the way her kisses lingers her flavor on his lips for hours.  He loves laying next to her at night, holding her, listening to her sleep.  She consumes him.  And while he desires to return to the inexpressible joy of their relationship, the misery of his current circumstances give him more pleasure then any happiness any other relationship could give him.  Furthermore, the promise of the restoration of his marriage seduces him to wait for her and fight for her, forever, if needed.

Both husbands make the right choice.  One does it because of rules.  The other does so because of love.  Of course a real marriage could never rise to the level of this hypothetical.  Humanity and sin reign in all of us.  Ain’t no perfect man or woman.  No perfect marriage.  But there is a perfect God.  The marriage hypothetical metaphor does represent marital infidelity.  It represents sin and righteousness.

It seems to me, the reason one needs religion and rules hinges on motivation.  Does one obey God because they might go to hell or endure the punishment of sickness or poverty?  Or does one obey because they believe the greatest pleasure in the history of the universe is the God who created it.  If we all believed that the greatest pleasure and love dwelled in God, and there exists no juxtaposition; religion and rules would drown in obsolescence.  There would be no need.  But we need them because we don’t believe God’s the greatest pleasure in the universe.  We need extra motivation.  But, to convey the necessity of rules also conveys the limitation of God.  If we somehow find him, like Elijah and Moses and Peter, his beauty will not intoxicate us enough to desire him; his presence will not awe us enough to follow him; his love will not draw us enough to obey him.  Therefore, make sure we keep these rules in our back pocket and the consequences of breaking them, just in case.

The “inerrant” bible states, if you find him, you will love Him.  Therefore, the purpose of life is to find him and to share him to everyone around you.

One cannot call themselves a Christian without having faith in God.  Jesus proves God would never tell us to do anything he was not willing to do.  Maybe, God has faith in Himself.  Maybe, God has faith in his beauty.  Maybe, God has faith in his presence.  Maybe, God has faith in his love.  Maybe, God is sure that if we experience his love, we will know nothing else compares and we will never choose anything else again.  That is not rules.  That is not religion.  That is relationship.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. – Ephesians 3

christianity is not about morality. it’s about restoration. part 643

In Act’s 6, the Pharisees arrested Peter and John for preaching the gospel after Jesus ascended to heaven.  After Peter preached and testified about his allegiance to God rather than men, the Pharisees decided to punish them by flogging.  In those days, receiving a flogging meant thirty-nine lashes with a whip.  Rocks and shards of glass, tied to the end of the whip, ripped into the back of its victim, tearing away flesh and bone.

After the flogging, John and Peter came out of the Sanhedrin, praising God.  Why? Because, the bibles says “they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace of the name.”

 Whaaaaat!?!????

I never read a book on this.  I never heard a sermon about this.  I do not know of a Christian theology existing where believers need to establish a goal to be “counted worthy of suffering disgrace of the name.”  I did not know of any Christian bumper sticker that states “pain” and “suffering” and “disgrace” could should cause rejoicing.  As they walked home with pieces of flesh probably dropping from their  bleeding backs, they sang love songs to God.  I have to admit, I cannot do this.  But at one point, neither could Peter.

Peter was a cocky man.  He asked Jesus to sit down next to him on his throne when he came into His glory.  He rebuked Jesus one time because He prophesied his own death and resurrection.  After traveling to a Samaritan town and experiencing rejection, Peter asked Jesus if he could call fire down from heaven and consume the entire town that just spurned them.  Jesus said to Peter, “You do not know what Spirit you are a part of.”  But I imagine Jesus thought there would be a time when Peter would find out.  He did find out.  And it changed his life.

For the disciples, the scariest sermon Jesus ever gave had to come from Luke 12.  In this chapter, Jesus said if His followers denied Him before men, He would deny them in the presence of His father and His angels.  When Jesus went to the cross, all of the disciples denied Him.  That’s why, when Jesus came to see them after his resurrection, the first words of out His mouth was “Peace be with you”.  Meaning:  I am not coming to obliterate you for denying me.  When the disciples found out Jesus might be alive, it was not the greatest news because they knew they all denied him.  Especially Peter.

In fact, Jesus told Peter, he would reject Him three times before the rooster crowed.  And when the rooster crowed that night, after Peter rejected Jesus for the third time, Jesus and Peter’s eyes met as the guards led Jesus from the Pharisee court.  Peter ran away, inconsolably grieved.

The most amazing part of this account, is that when Jesus told Peter about his three denials, Jesus said he prayed for Peter. But Jesus did not pray for him to rebuke the enemy and stay strong.   He did not pray for Peter to deny himself and do the right thing.  He did not pray for Peter’s moral strength.  He prayed for Peter’s faith and he prayed for Peter’s restoration.

But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. – Luke 22:32

Jesus already conceded Peter would turn away.  He did not pray to stop this egregious sin.

Why?

So could Peter find out “what spirit he was of”.  After Jesus’ resurrection, he asked Peter three times if he loved Him.  The third time, Peter became overwhelmed with emotion.  In these three questions, Jesus changed the history of Peter’s denials.  Each time Peter told Jesus, he loved Him, it erased one of the times he denied knowing His God.  In that, Peter found restoration because He found a God who loved him for who He was, not because of what he did.

In Jesus forgiving Peter and showing him the incredible future God ordained for him was still his for the taking, Peter fell in love with God.  He understood.  He understood that He possessed a God who loved Him so much that there would be nothing Peter could do to separate him from that love.  Peter’s “obedience” wasn’t done as an action.   It was a reaction.  His restoration became the point of transforming who Peter was.  Peter praising God after hours of torture or Peter dying on cross upside down came not because Peter tried to obey a set of rules.  Peter became the rules.  After denying Jesus Christ and receiving grace for his sin, Peter never denied Jesus again.  Why?  Because he loved God so much, Peter could never, ever again, deny himself.

why I need a savior

I once read a Jewish historical account of Adam and Eve.  The author told a story where Lucifer tried to overthrow heaven because God demanded all the angels bow to Adam and Lucifer refused to.  Adam looked like God so much, the angels feared Him.  When God made Adam and Eve, He created them in His own image and gave them the entire world to rule.  The reason why people lived so long at the beginning of the bible is because God created their bodies to never die or break or get sick.  When God told Adam to take dominion over the earth, it seemed Moses(who wrote Genesis) left out something extremely important.  Lucifer and all the angels that tried to overthrow heaven, were cast to the earth.  If Adam were to take dominion over the earth, he would have to conquer angels, by himself, that took all of heaven to do.  This is how powerful Adam was.

As we all know, Adam and Eve chose a different route and ate of the forbidden tree.  God evicted Adam and Eve from the garden after their sin.  Their nakedness symbolized the glory they lost.  Their decaying bodies symbolized the decay they invited inside of themselves.  Their food would come from toiling the ground instead of heaven’s trees.  Instead of walking with God face to face, they were banned from entering the home God made for them.  They now needed a Savior.

How does one deal with death when they were born to be immortal?  How does one deal with nakedness when they were clothed with the glory of the Creator?  How does not deal with pain when they swam in the pleasures of His right hand?  How does one deal with rejection when they were the apple of God’s eye?  How does one deal with impotence and weakness and defeat when all creation bowed to their feet?

How does one do it?

According to Jewish history, Adam and Eve tried to kill themselves.  Several times.  Sometimes God stopped them.  Sometimes, He had to raise them from the dead.  It makes sense.  The life they lived outside of Eden must be like leaving the sun to live in ice.  They lived in a place that was an extension of heaven itself.  And they lost all of it.

Adam and Eve looked at the same body I have and the same world I live in and committed suicide. It didn’t matter if they became billionaires.  It didn’t matter if they lived in the biggest home in the world or saved enough to retire at the age of forty.  It didn’t matter if they won a thousand Nobel prizes and their marriage lasted forever.  It didn’t matter if they obeyed all 614 laws in the bible and were the most moral people to ever exist.  There was nothing they could ever accomplish in a world outside of Eden that could bring back what they lost.

I never saw what was lost but I feel it.  It’s as if the ghost of God haunts my every aspiration and motivation.  I can no longer feign fulfillment. And maybe that’s the point.  To begin to take my thirst away, I must first admit I am thirsty.  I must admit that I am fallen.  I must admit that the dreams of my flesh cannot save me.  They cannot make me happy.  They cannot take away my fear.  No matter how large my house is, it will never replace Eden.  No matter how beautiful my spouse is, it will never replace the beauty of being created in His image.  No matter how much money I make, it will never compare to possessing the entire earth.  No matter how many accomplishments I achieve, it will never compare to the greatness of ruling creation.  No matter how much I fight to be loved and respected by everyone, it will never replace being the greatest pleasure of my Father, the God of the universe.

When Jesus said that He came to seek and save that which was lost, this is what He was talking about.  And I want all of it.